“…Okay, we are not all bi bi but we are bi as in bipolar. We all have highs and lows. We have bad hair days and we have cloud nine days. We are okay though or at least we will be when we learn that not being okay is also okay…
by Uncle P
I am probably bipolar. We are all probably bipolar. No-one is or will always be in the same mood through-out his or her life, so it must be a normal thing to be somewhat bipolar at one point or another if not through one’s life. However, our bipolar levels and extents differ accordingly to our individual circumstances. I haven’t always been aware of this, but I have learnt that I have ups and downs. I vacillate between serenity and sadness.
When I am down, I am extremely tired. I have very little energy. I eat very little. I have no interest in most of my interests. I read very little. I turn my mobile phone to silent, I don’t even check my messages. I sleep a lot. When I am not asleep and having weird dreams, I am lying awake, turning and tossing. My mind is on over-drive, with random and deep thoughts, as deep as the bottom of the ocean or as high as being out of space. I am in the aviation industry and I am fascinated by space, the further away from Earth the better. I do think of death. This is not to say that I am suicidal, in fact it is quite the opposite. As I always say, Oprah says that you must know you are getting old once you start quoting yourself, that it is not death that scares me, it is the process of dying. My downs are not of long duration nor do they occur frequently.
During my ups, I am jovial and full of energy. I am usually up early in the mornings and start working on my laptop whilst still in bed. I am full of ideas and I usually type most of them up. I connect with my spirit, my love of humankind and my passion about achieving success. I enjoy the simplest things in life. I count my blessings and privileges. I read a lot. I watch my favourite TV programmes, no prize for guessing that that includes aircraft investigation documentaries. I go out and spend time with friends and family. I travel. I play sports. I am full of hope and I am very optimistic about the future.
The most important aspect of my ups and downs, the one thing that connects them, is my love for life. My ups and downs are like two solid, weighty balls of iron, one black and the other white, on either side of a pendulum. Even at the darkest and nastiest of my downs, I am aware that there are many people who are much worse-off than me even at the peak of their up moments. I have a job yet there are so many who are jobless. I see so many who have to walk or catch public transport whilst I drive around in the comfort of my luxurious vehicle. The same during the moments of my ups. I am aware that there are people who are more privileged than me. My motto is that I should do the most with what I have been given. I am not religious, but I am spiritual in that I believe that our lives have a purpose, all of us. Whether I am experiencing a down or an up, I hang on to life. I believe in life. I give to life. Life gives back to me. I am full of life.
The current Coronavirus crisis and the lockdown have been good to me. I am lucky that I am able to work from home. This means being able to work at my own time and pace and when it most suits me. I have also been able to spend time with my dogs, they cannot believe their luck, to be able to have me around 24/7. I have also been catching up with my friends and family. All of this has contributed to me being able to reflect on what is important to me and to exercise control over my feelings and emotions. I am enjoying being able to rest and sleep whenever I want. I have never had a more balanced work-and-home life than now. I am also keeping an eye on the Coronavirus virus developments around the world, contrary to the popular advise not to read and follow the statistics and information, I find that it helps to know the extent and seriousness of the pandemic and most importantly it helps me to focus my energies more meaningfully. I am in full support of the lockdown, however I hope that we are not going to be locked down for much longer. I’m a hands-on person and I am quite keen to execute my plans and ideas such as reconnecting with my sports foundation and helping the poor and vulnerable.