South Africa's LGBTI newspaper since the 1980's

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Mary Unfaithful: Keeping HIV out of the affair

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Poems, plays, songs, movies and series explore a subject that never seems to go out of fashion because it’s been a sticky topic throughout history: Infidelity. Maybe you’ve been cheated on, or maybe you’ve been the cheater.h4mlogo Perhaps you just don’t know. Then again, you and your partner may have an open relationship that doesn’t require being sexually exclusive with one another. Whatever the case, HIV need not be on the menu, even if having a side-dish is.



If you are in an exclusive monogamous relationship, using condoms is still an effective way to practice safer sex. Condoms are your first line of defence against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections when you’re having sex with another person. If you are likely to have sex with someone other than your partner, make sure that you use a condom. It’s one thing to cheat on someone, but something else altogether to give them an unwanted infection or disease. If you suspect that your partner may be cheating on you, using condoms can at least provide some peace of mind. Make sure you use condoms and water-based lubricant.

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Pretoria Gay Pride 2016

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By Kagiso Masemola in partnership with Phobic Organisation


Saturday, the 1st of October 2016, Centurion Rugby field housed the much anticipated fourth annual Pretoria Gay Pride event and it was worth all the
hype that it created leading up to the day. This particular event that’s held globally, has been both a celebration of the beauty that is seen in and around lives led by the LGBTQI community, and a commemoration of those who have fought (to death) to have us bear the rights that we have beenPtaPride
awarded, though many believed it was a lost 'cause.

1970 saw the blossoming of the first gay parades, the first being brought forth by Craig Rodwell, his partner Fred Sargeant, Ellen Broidy, and Linda Rhodes in New York City following a police raid on the Stonewall Inn in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of New York City. The Stonewall Inn was a gay bar which catered to an assortment of patrons, but which was popular with the most marginalized people in the gay community: transvestites, transgender people, effeminate young men, hustlers, and homeless youth.

This parade opened the door for many more across the world, many of which if not all, hosted in countries that were legally and socially anti-LGBTQI, which was a cause of concern, but a cause worth more than concern when weighed up.PtaPride7 The danger of being involved in a movement that stood to change the perception of the greater public was one that could not be avoided, but the mere fact that such movements were faced with resistance spoke volumes to the need of them being there to begin with, from awareness of our struggles, our being, our existence, our normality, to the celebration of our kind, our uniqueness, our love and everything that we represent. There had to be a way for us to tell our stories, our truth through our mouths and this was/is our way.PtaPride6

When Pretoria Gay pride was introduced to us, it was welcomed by all who it appealed to and those who were interested in supporting such movements, it followed the existence of other Pride events hosted around South Africa's metropolitan cities and surrounding areas, so it had a template. But little
did we know that it would surpass expectation. It has not been in existence for long, but for as long as it has, it has been worth one's attendance.
Many have had the pleasure of attending the event every year that it has been hosted, and many more who enjoyed the experience for the first time say that they'll be attending again.

Peter Tatchell wins James Joyce Award 2016

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Human rights and LGBT rights campaigner Peter Tatchell has been named as winner of Ireland’s prestigious James Joyce Award 2016 and the recipient of an Honorary Fellowship from University College Dublin.

Previous winners include Noam Chomsky, Desmond Tutu and Hans Blix.

Mr Tatchell received the award at a ceremony at 4pm on Wednesday, 21 September, in the Fitzgerald Chamber at University College Dublin, before an audience of university staff and students.PeterTatchell

The James Joyce Award committee of the Literary and Historical Society states that it is an honour conferred on persons who have “excelled in a field of human endeavor and have made a profound impact on the world around them” and is awarded to Peter Tatchell for his contribution to the cause of LGBT equality and human rights over the last 50 years.

Reacting to the award, Peter Tatchell spoke about the future evolution of human sexuality:


My huge gratitude for this distinguished award and honorary fellowship. I feel humbled and overwhelmed to follow in the footsteps of so many illustrious past recipients.

I would like to dedicate my acceptance of this award to the heroic LGBT campaigners of Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) and allied Ugandan movements.

They are spearheading the fight for LGBT rights in Uganda – in a deeply repressive, intolerant society, at great personal risk to their liberty and lives.

Despite government, police and religious persecution – and the constant threat of vigilante and mob violence – they carry on the fight for LGBT freedom.

I salute SMUG and allied LGBT groups, and urge people to go to their website and make a donation to help them carry on their inspiring work against anti-LGBT hate.

As the theme of my acceptance speech, I invite you to join me in looking beyond the current state of national and international LGBT rights, to what is likely to come to pass in the future.

Specifically, I'd like to offer some ideas on the likely evolution of human sexuality, primarily, but not exclusively, as it pertains to LGBT people.

While homophobia, biphobia and transphobia have not disappeared, and while they remain particularly acute in many non-Western countries, here in the West this prejudice is much less extreme and prevalent than it once was.

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Mr Mademoiselle

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Hi, im Mr Mademoiselle and I come forth to shake your concept of homosexuality, to the core – using make up. The art of slow, rapid, almost not-there self-realisation is a very beautiful thing, the fact that you are going through a defining phase/ moment/ time in your life that is somewhat significant in its own right but you cannot see it is inconceivable. It can be related to watching a hour long movie based entirely on your life and not seeing that its based on the shit you’ve had to take your sandwich with. You’re there, its happening to you, but you’re blinded by all life has to offer such as breathing and buying bread that you fail to pick up on your life’s God-goool-map rerouting your path in life.

gaybarWe unfortunately do not possess the ability to view our lives in an aerial perspective and see where it is that universe takes us, anyway..   Back to what this is actually about, masculinity, the myth, phantom, relatively circumstantial since it depends on the box secular ideologies thrown you in. I have held both shallow and abstruse conversations with many of my fellow LGBTQI brothers, sisters and fluid beings on the topic of femininity and its relation to our world, how one balances it with their masculinity and if one should, at all, try to.

Needless to say, there were many head nods and a lot of “where the fuck is this going”? moments. From the moment one comes out the closet or accepts themselves as whatever it is that they are – when it goes against societal norms that is, there is always backlash, always. But the odd thing now is, the backlash is received from both the heterosexual world’s inhabitants as well as from those in the LGBTQI community. This is because of the ‘kind of gay guy’ image that society (both cis-hetero and LGBTQI) has created fits one shade of gay that the world is okay with, that we now all should aspire to being. This is normally the “straight acting” gay guy you find, who has “Not your typical gay guy, love sports, love hiking, I don’t know who Beyoncé is” writing all over his bio’s because that somehow makes him less gay. Is it that difficult to acknowledge that we CANNOT be the same?  

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When your BFF is living with HIV

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By Bruce J. Little

We sat around the pool chatting and laughing about stuff we’d gotten up to over the weekend.  We loved to do this; get together and compare dating war stories, and this always left us both wheezing from too much cackling and not enough breathing.  I was still mid the descending voiced sigh that usually ends a long spell of laughter when he said:  "I need to tell you something."h4mlogo

The news left me completely stunned with absolutely no idea what to say.  This is a guy that I could usually tell anything to, a person that shared my un-PC sense of humour and also loved to play in the realms of the inappropriate.  He and I sang Gaga together and flirted outrageously with petrol attendants. But I knew that what he had said was not meant to be funny. 

He wasn’t the first person I knew that was HIV-positive, but he was the first person that I knew well, and the last person I thought would ever acquire it. My first lesson, HIV is indiscriminate.

I said so many tactless things, and looking back I admire how well he coped with some of the stupid things I said and asked.  Knowing that I can't go back and change how I reacted then, at least, I can now help people to know what they should say if they ever find themselves in the same situation.

My first big mistake:  I got all formal and not like myself.  Because I felt unsure of what to say, I suddenly started to edit myself and to speak in a way that wasn't authentic. I must’ve sounded like a call centre agent from a complaints hotline. He picked it up immediately. Authenticity is the best first response.  "I'm sorry to hear that", wasn't the wrong thing to say so much as it wasn't the kind of thing I would usually say to him.  It was the kind of stuff you say to an acquaintance or disgruntled customer. I should have sworn out loud and grabbed and hugged him; that would've been more me.   What you say is not as important as the way that you say it.     

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